Gruntipedia Fun: Otha' Letham
]] Otha' is a very Grunty Elite, this is because the stoned motherfucker that pregnated his mom was a Grunt. He lives his life by hanging out with friends, drinking Cherry Coke, having sex nuking bad shit. He is by far the Gruntiest Elite to be born, he is also one of the most hardcore and has a pretty fucked up family tree. Backstory Otha' was an Elite who was born when his mother was flying a Banshee but then instantly gave birth. Otha' nearly fell out of the Banshee but then he hijacked his mom's Banshee and she drowned in the ocean and became a mermaid. His father (not to be confused with the Stoned motherfucker Grunt that pregnated his mom, that was another guy), amazed by Otha's talent, signed him up for the Covenant military when he was 1 month old. The Prophets accepted the membership and Otha' started training in the art of SWAG. How he got the most Gruntiness of any Elite. You see, the man that raised Otha' was not his true dad, here's the story. Otha's mom was walking home after tripping over countless ballsacks at a party. When she was walking, a famous Grunt criminal called Fuckyap was recently convicted because he was forcing prepubescent Elites to give him blumpkins. When Fuckyap saw Otha's mom, he got up to her and raped her. After he was satisfied, he got off her and gave her a letter, he said: Soon, she went home and told her fiance, her fiance told her that he would hold onto the letter. Nine months after the incident, her waters broke, so she had to rush to the hospital, the rest of the story is above, but I will explain it here. She got in a Banshee hoping that she could get there in time, but then he just dropped the newborn Otha', he was about to fall out, so then he did the most fucking sad ass, douchebaggy, cuntragging clusterfuck any newborn could do. Otha' hijacked his mom's Banshee and watched her fall into the ocean. Many thought she died, but she really just became a mermaid. If she ever did meet Otha' again, she would probably attempt to kill him. Otha's step-father was dumbstruck by Otha's talent, he has only been alive for 15 seconds and he did 5 amazing things. *1) Hijack a Banshee *2) Piss off his mom *3) Broke a world record *4) PILOT the Banshee *5) Broke another world record Otha's step-father brought Otha' to a Covenant enlistment building in his town and signed him up when he was one month old. His dad gave him the letter mentioned before, but Otha' did not know how to read at the time. He payed close attention to "The Stoned Motherfucking Grunt that fucked your mom (ur true dad)" he realised that he has yet to meet his dad, and that he is part Grunt, after realising that, he figured out how he pulled off all those awesome tricks, he has Gruntiness! And for his real dad to be a Grunt, he has more Gruntiness than any other Elite! He immediately told the Prophets and suggested that he should start getting trained on Gruntiness. 40 hours later, his epic training began at the Nipple Academy, his master was the ever great High Grunt Admiral Flabdab. Shortly later, he began his SWAG training under the master "Buzv'mi 'Olwaaai", this was the time when he met Juhii and J'Suz Kusov. He and J'Suz had a tough rivalry and they had similar powers. In spite of J'Suz' superior rapping skills, Otha's Grunt DNA overpowered any rhymes. The first destruction of Hula Hoop Alpha left|thumb|This is what happened when Otha' blew up Installation 04 (Pornography removed)] When Otha' was 19 hes found a chick Elite called Kes'i and then they both go funky. It was so hardcore it caused Installation 04 to blow up. This pissed off Bungie so Halo: Combat Evolved's launch was delayed because they had to rebuild the ring. The Fall of Reach Around On High-on-crack terrible excuse for a Charity, Otha' was listening to the album Elitematic, he liked it, so he put the whole album on his MP3 Player and set it up into his helmet. Juhii then walked in bitching to his hooker hotline. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T HAVE 5000 HOOKERS?" said Juhii, the hooker hotline responded with "5000 FUCKING HOOKERS, THAT'S ILLEGAL YOU MANWHORE", Juhii angrily replied "DON'T TELL ME IT'S ILLEGAL, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'M A KILLER ALIEN FROM A LARGE FORMATION OF OTHER KILLER ALIENS CALLED THE COVENANT, I'M A FUCKING TERRORIST!", Otha' then joined the conversation with his sentence "WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR AND INSTEAD OF KILLING HUMANS ALL YOU WANT ARE HOOKERS?", Juhii then stated that Otha's interruption killed his boner. The other squad members were pissed off so they protested against Otha' and Juhii, Otha' told the bitching squadmates to suck his "Schlong", everyone started yelling out "fuck you!" to each other. After over 9000 insults consisting of racism, sexism and greusome thoughts, the Phantom that the whole squad was going to land on Reach on, "Whisky and Nintendo", flew away after saying to the whole squad "FUCK YOU BITCHES, IF YOU CAN'T SHUT THE FUCK UP THEN CHOKE ON A DICK SO NO ONE HAS TO HEAR ANY OF YOU GO AROUND WHORING AGAIN". The Elite Majors in the squad pissed their pants, Otha' then asked "Alright, so we're going to have to Occupied Dick Sucking Toots our way down to that planet? So then they did, except for the Elite Rangers and Ultras (not Juhii), who stayed behind to have group sex (half of them were female). The attending squad geared up with guns from the future and went inside pods, and ironically crashed on some ODSTs. The pods released the troops, the squad were equally matched with the Artifically strong people ( :/ ) so the Demons asked to settle the fight with a singing battle. These Spartans however were gay, so they started singing Nyan cat, while they were doing that, the Grunt Majors in the group teabagged the Spartans to death. The group kept on running and running and running until the found The most sexually wrong name for a video game level. They went up the Spire and until Noble Sex arrived, they set up a Pimp Club, a dance Club and a Strip Club, it was a riot. When Noble Six DID come, the Skirmishers and Grunts commited suicide by jumping off the Spire, resulting with only a group of Elites remaining, Otha' sent a sorry text message to Whisky and Nintendo, then the Phantom came and picked up Otha', Juhii was too busy fapping and didn't get on, so he stayed on the Spire, yep, you guessed it right, the Elite Ultra with the Energy Dildo on the top of the Spire that you fight in Reach Around is indeed Juhii, you thought you killed him, but no, he was drunk at the time so he fall on the floor, you did not kill him, human noob. Juhii then woke up during the level "The Package", but this is Otha's story..... The Phantom WAN had lots of stuff in it, like some books (including the Great Covenant book of jokes), some movies (Revenge of the Hater 1) and a computer so the Elite Majors could troll on 4chan. The squad bailed out of the Phantom when they entered New Alexandria and started shooting up all the noobs. 1 of the Major's died, so the other avenged him by trolling the Marines to death. The squad didn't give a flying shit about the mission so they went back in the WAN and flew to the level "Pillair of Autumn" to kill more Marines and blow up more shit, they killed Noble 6, but he respawned, 80 more times until the last Elite Major died, so the remaining squadmates had a Yo mama fight with Noble six. Noble Six won with "YO MAMMAS SO FAT DORA COULDN'T EXPLORE HER!" Otha', defeated, fell on the ground and Six started trying to rape him, then Juhii fell from the sky yelling out to Noble Six "SUCK MY LONG, HARD, JUICY AND SWAGGY SCHLONG!!" Juhii headshotted Six with his penis (DAAYUUMMMMMMM), landing from over 9000 miles off ground, wow. Noble six was knocked out for 3 seconds, so Juhii and Otha' ran away, running and running and running..... The high on crack pilot of Whisky and Nintendo came raging into the scene, nearly splattering Otha', Juhii and Otha' went inside the Phantom and ditched planet Reach and flew back up to High Charity. Continue Battle of Hula Hoop 04 After equiping himself with shit to kill other shit on installation 04, he, Juhii, Bopop and a squad of Elite Mayors were sent on a Phantom called "Whisky and Nintendo" to raid the giant hula hoop and, gosh you don't know the Covenant's goal? The Phantom crashed on a Sentinel Strip club, so everyone aboard the Phantom killed all the Sentinels, Juhii however made out with the strippers. Everyone stole the Quadlazers and flew to a little magical island where it never rained, they went there because it had an unbeleivably huge archive of raw, hardcore porn. But of course, those UNSC noobs had to steal the porn and fap, a tragic, but noble battle raged on the island for the porn, but then the Covies surrendered because they decided to just stick with xvideos The Marines then breached the archive of porn. However, before they even thought of fapping they realized it was gay porn of 2 ugly forerunners blowjobbing each other, AIDS then jumped out of balloons and infected all the noobs. The squad barely had any violent entertainment, so they rang to Prophet of Eye cancer, Eye cancer told the crew of Whisky and Nintendo to help defend the Control Room, the crew boarded their Phantom and flew to the control room, they did not arrive on time.. The Winter Wonderland was infected by AIDS, Juhii checked the front cover of the game to double check that the game was not Resident Evil, it was infact, Halo Combat Evolved, the Phantom pilot shit his pants, but he shit so much that it made the pilot bounce of the seat and land on the piloting controls, jamming it with his shit (This was the reason Phantoms are called turds). Phantom destroyed, pilot killed, long level of AIDS, Otha' swiftly lead the squad through the Snowgrounds and found Santa's house, they went inside, Santa kindly gave the whole squad lots of Boomsticks so they could pwn the Flood. Santa then went back to sitting on his Golden Chair which with him, teleported to Mexico. The Squad stole the Banshees on Santa's front yard and exterminated the flood in Santa land. The airborne squad radioed Eye Cancer to ask what the mission was now, Eye Cancer demanded the Squad to get to the Pillair of Winter, Otha' obeyed, not knowing that Flood spread so fast that they can fill a whole ship with their infections, they boomsticked and Quadlazered all the flood and Plasma'd the human noobs, the squad quickly ran through the Autumn and found some Spectres, everyone went on the Spectres, trying to beat Chief to destroying Halo (Read earlier segments of this article), but Chief won, the Squad knew that they were going to die, but Bopop being a grunt had the ultimate Grunty resource. Bopop pulled out a Pro Action Replay 2 out of his pocket teleported the whole squad back to High Charity, yep, this is all that Otha' squad did during the events of Halo 1. Battle of Hula Hoop 05 This involved many things, like the Hairy-dicks, Ancient Zombies, Furry Cheeseballs, and lots of shit, some Jackals stole the actual intel from this part of the article, along with the shipments of lots of other articles, but we are working to get it back. But for now, lets get high.... Where he is now Well, this is how it went down. On planet Earth, Otha' was out in Sydney and saw some building called the "Parliament House", he walked in to have a look at all the boring politicians and the archeology, but then he saw Julia Guilard, he did not like Julia Guilard, he did not like Julia Guilard's nose, so he pulled out his Needler and shot her in the face. She exploded and all of the building's defense teams, including the S.A.S, busted in to kill Otha', he bob'd and weave'd to avoid their gunfire, then, he pulled out his Energy Sword, yelled out 'LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN YOUR MOTHER'S ROOM" and shoved it up Tony Abbot's anus. The S.A.S and defense teams started growing in numbers, eventually, they could get a hit at Otha'. Otha' dropped his Needler in favor for a Salt Rifle from a dead human, he proceeded to blas' the humans until he was getting shot a shitload. He threw a bubble shield and called Juhii using his Galaxy Wort and said: BITCH FUCK THIS IS REALLY FUCK JUHII COME HERE AND BRING ALL THE ELITES FUCK NOW I'M GETTING KILLED BY JULIA GUILARD'S WHITE KNIGHTS! Juhii made his own door in the building with a Phantom Hourglass, Juhii, Pawnee', Maddi', J'Suz Kusov and many others began shooting until every last human in the building was dead. After about a minute, they won and the building was theirs. The Elites stayed there, thinking about what they should do, J'Suz suggested that they create an Elite Mafia with the building, everyone agreed, the building was fixed and was renamed "The Mafia of Wort, Bitches!". Maddi'slimanee was in charge of the pimp club, Pawnee managed the casino, Juhii secured the money, Juhii's cousin set up a rave club and Otha' and J'Suz managed the whole Mafia/Gang thing. So now they all live there except JS'uz, because he needs to deal with some unfinished business, though he does come back often. They are currently expanding their business and have already extended the Parliament into a 12 story building. All members of EPAS were transitioned to "The Mafia of Wort, Bitches!". Since Julia Guilard is dead, Tony Abbott has been elected and the new Parliament house is in Woodridge (Even if you rename it to Logan Central, people will ALWAYS call it Woodridge). Members: *Otha' Letham (Founder) *J'Suz Kusov (Co-founder) *Pawnee'noobs (Manager) *Maddi'sliman (Pimp) *Juhii (Pimp) Otha's criminal record awesomeness *3632219 murders *13 betrayals *219 hijacks *2812 skyjacks *2323 hijacks after being hijacked *1337 skyjacks after being skyjacked *353222 Sexual intercourses *Over 9000 assists Family Tree I mean seriously, it's a mess, it's a fucking monstrosity. So many whores, so many Prostitutes and other fuckeries, it made an optimist kill punch a Grunt in the face! (Note: This Family Tree may be 100% inaccurate) Stuff Otha does *Dream about driving on a bumpy road *Eat Spaghetii *Epically insane bullshit (Participate in Extreme Crap Wrestling) *Drink Cherry Coke *Watch porn. Dangerous stuff Otha' did *Blew up Installation 04 by having hardcore sex *Got sent to an insane asylum twice *Hired a barney clone to rape Jon Howard *Drank Ubercharged Cherry Coke *He got a bit curious and fucked himself with a drill Trivia. *''Otha'' is actually a nickname of Coke, to which Cherry Coke is the greatest flavor *Otha' spent his last days on his front porch where he would complain about at them darn kids, constantly yelling at them to get off his lawn. * *He sucker-punched the grim reaper on his deathbed. * He is powered on Cherry Coke, this pregnates his Gruntiness which creates more and more Gruntiness. * He is actually white. * *That is why he gets sunburnt at night. * Pawnee'noobsee was his teacher on Gruntiness and his cousin * He was originally cast as the lead actor in ''Taxi Driver ''but turned down cause he was Latino. * If you have $5 and Otha' has $5 he has more money than you. * J'Suz Kusov is being AFK so Otha' shall find a way to lead the Crusaderz to further win! * Otha is #1 on the Prophet Of Cherry Dr. Pepper's shitlist. * Never take the last Cherry Coke can at Night Owl from him * He has a movie coming out soon, which features everyone on Gruntipedia as themselves, and music from EpicLLOYD. 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